For All It's Worth A Firekeeper Series Story
by WolvenHeart
Summary: [Firekeeper series, Jane Lindskold] Jared Surcliffe contemplates his present feelings for Elise while writing a therapeutic letter.


Author's Notes: This takes place hypothetically after The Dragon of Despair, the third novel in the Firekeeper series. Please note that there are some serious story spoilers in regards to one subplot, but it is spoilers enough to put a disclaimer upon it. With that said, this is a Jared/Elise piece, in Jared's third person limited POV. As I said, it takes place after tDoD, probably several months after: those of you that have hooked on to this subplot as I have will know where I am picking up right away.

**For All It's Worth**

A Firekeeper series fan piece by WolvenHeart

Sir Jared Surcliffe paced the study, the soft pads of his boots muting themselves against the ornate rug spread elegantly along the floor. Across the room a lone candle glowed, testing midnight's bleak and eerie backdrop, casting soft illuminations upon parchment and quill. Doc, as he was known by friends, had left the unfinished letter only moments before, setting himself into an anxious stroll.

A finger pulled at his lip while the other four cradled his chin, as if stimulating his thoughts. The knighted doctor was not a handsome man by the standards of fair ladies and mistresses. His nose protruded and hooked in true Kestrel fashion. His gray eyes were set in a stern yet almost sorrowful face, etched with lines of worry that belied his youth. His jaw was almost to the line of being soft, a feature that spoke of compassion and care, but in society, compassion and care did not a handsome man make. For the most part, the man cared little of society, at least in its terms of how men should appear. More than once had he appeared disheveled and unkempt, blood staining his tunic not from a fierce battle, but from the wound of a dying patient. Rarely was his dark hair allowed out of its queue, but during the day it pulled upon its constraint, adding more frivolity to his image. Jared Surcliffe, however, was a sensible man. The only occasions for which he would make appearances were formal, and to those he was rarely invited. After his wife had passed away from an illness he could not heal, he had simply stopped caring.

That, however, was not entirely true. Since traveling with his cousin's caravan to the old fire-site at the edge of the mountains, Jared had changed. They had found and brought back Firekeeper, as he recalled Ox and Darien coaxing her away from her true home and along with them. They had returned to Eagle's Nest, and everyone had wanted to see the young girl who was supposedly the long lost Lady Blysse. At that point, the doctor had contemplated keeping his image low and even ducking out entirely; he never liked the spotlight. But his chance encounter with the young heiress to the Archer barony had changed that.

She was radiant, glowing with not only beauty, but intelligence and an untapped talent for healing. She was the exquisite picture of fair, he had thought, and she… she was engaged to a Shield. Jet Shield, to be exact, a distant cousin and the male heir to the Shield wealth.

Jared shook his head violently. _Even if she hadn't been, then what?_ Then he would have been entranced and enamored, and firmly reminded of his place in society. What could he possibly offer the Archers? All he had in his possession were medical supplies and a bit of gold to get by. All he had in his inheritance was a vineyard. A vineyard. Jared scoffed. He would never win her over with a vineyard when Jet Shield had so much more.

But she had never wed Jet Shield, even when she reached legal maturity. She had declined him, a decision even Baron Archer could not resent after the boy's actions and his mother's treachery. The doctor had found himself in Lady Elise Archer's presence more often, as both a partner in work and a friend. He could in no way compensate for what he was not, and in an already defeated stance, he resigned himself to being no more than he was; a humble doctor of humble beginnings. At some point he believed she had humored his fondness. But then, what else was she to do with it?

That, however, had not deterred his feelings in the slightest. He had loved his wife, a woman he had known since his youth, but as he looked back on it, he could not lie to himself, nor to her memory. They had shared a mutual concern for one another; a sort of sibling fondness. When she had passed from childbirth, he mourned the loss of a dear friend, and hated himself for being so helpless. Yes, he had loved his wife, but it seemed nothing in comparison to his sheer fondness for the Lady Elise Archer. He colored slightly at the thought, hues of light crimson touching his cheeks. He was not a man prone to such fluttering feelings when in the presence of others, but when alone and caught off-guard, they certainly worked his already weary emotions.

He recalled the night they had sat together outside of Smuggler's Light. At that moment, he had been so exhausted that all good sense had escaped him, and shortly thereafter, so too had the deepest feelings of his heart. He suspected she knew at least of his fondness, but there he had stated, with little ornament, that he loved her. Elise had stumbled somewhat, but caught her resolve and told him she could make no promises, but that he did have her affection, and were she not the future Baroness Archer…

A dry chuckle escaped Jared's throat. It often amused him, in a harsh sort of way, that he should fall for someone so above his own station. Had she been nearly anyone else, they would likely be married and she carrying her first child. But of course all good sense had then abandoned him, as well, and his heart seemed to care not of her titles. With a resigned sigh, Doc shook his head and glanced down at the parchment. He took the seat before the desk, and re-read what he had previously written.

_Lady Archer, _

_It has been nearly three months since we last spoke, and in that time I have learned a great deal of New Kelvin and its people. You would be proud to know that I have also picked up a spattering of the language, and as such, I have become able to better communicate with those holding valuable information to my practice. _

_At my departure I had stated the nature of my research. I'm slightly disheartened to say that it has not progressed quite so far as I would like, though it is not yet stagnant, either. I still retain hope, and in housing an apothecary, maintain the funds to continue my research._

The letter began so formally, just as the letter he had once left for her servant, Ninette, in requesting Elise's company. With a bit of a boyish laugh, he set an ellipse to the parchment and turned it full over. He would have nothing to lose merely by writing, and the words flowed from the tip of his quill.

_Dearest Elise, _

_I doubt you shall ever see this, as it would be much to my embarrassment if you did. But I fear I cannot contain the words of my heart to merely myself. I have never been one for poetic notations, but merely a pointed truth. And seeing as how this will not be read, I have no reason to withhold such truths. _

_I know it does not escape your mind that I love you. At the very least, it is my hope that you still acknowledge my feelings, though I am not sure you realize the extent of them. To your credit, I never made them fully known for fear of over burdening you, and the thwarting glower I would surely receive from Baron Archer. But I shall make them known here. In returning to your acquaintance from the mutual friendship of Firekeeper, I discovered quite an amazing young woman. You may think yourself unwise for having felt so enamored with Jet Shield, but I think you bold to have stood for yourself in rejecting him and his advances. That is to say that I was overjoyed when it was stated that you and he were not lovers. Later, in your willingness to learn the healing arts, I found a generous student and at some point soon after, a most welcome partner. _

_You have been ever kind to me, and have made a point of not dismissing my feelings, nor encouraging them to the extent of teasing. Oh, but your mere presence seems enough to tease my own heart. You are beautiful, Elise, and were you not quite fine your amiable nature would yet shine ever-still. I sincerely doubt I could love so deeply a woman who bore a wretched disposition. Yet you have always been considerate, and it is this that makes me both delighted and disheartened. For I know your disposition will set you to be a fine Baroness, but in that same instant, it will prove me unworthy of your hand. _

_Every day I work, from dawn until dusk, accepting patients of all kinds just for the chance to gain more knowledge, and admittedly, more coin. Along with my search for the cure of the Wellward misfortune, I have hoped to collect enough to pay for a forward from my cousin Norvin on a larger grant to the Surcliffe lands. Edlin has taken pleasure in writing me several times to tempt me to accept his offer of express payment for a grant, and I do believe he has taken all the more pleasure in my continual refusal. Were he not so besotted with Firekeeper, I would be worried for my competition of you; Edlin is quite the persistent young man. _

_I have no intention of letting my own hopes and dreams slide away, though late at night, as I am lying alone, I sometimes question myself. I wonder that I am being too direct, too burdening and unfair to you. I had at first tried everything in my power to conceal my feelings while you were still betrothed to Jet Shield. Only Derian knew of them, and it was perhaps his solid encouragement that set me to my path of dreaming that I could be more than I am. But by birth nor fortune, I can be no more than a doctor, knighted as I may be. I can only hope to give within the greatest boundaries of my talents, and then hope that it is enough. Sometimes, my own good sense relates to me that it will never be enough. But for what it is worth, I can presently offer you my absolute love and admiration, for I have, even after all this time, remained solely devoted to and in love with you. _

_Forever Yours, _

_Doc_

With a mix of relief and a joy he had not felt for quite some time, Jared Surcliffe set the pen back to ink and allowed the parchment time to dry before turning it over to the more formal, bland message on the front. Feeling for once a sense of peace, he leaned in to blow out the single candle, and made to retire for the night.

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Thank you for reading! If you enjoy the Firekeeper series as much as I, please consider my plea to be a part of some form of e group in which we may exchange writing, art, and commentary on the series. Also, if there is response, I will write a sequel to this piece. I hope you enjoyed, and I'll be right there with you in November when Wolf Captured hits the shelves. J


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